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Oct 28, 2018

Be the Church 6 (Belonging)

Hebrews 10:25

Be the Church – Part 6: Belonging

October 28, 2018

 Introduction

          I once performed a wedding for a couple who was already living together. I met them at their apartment before we started premarital counseling. After we made introductions again (I’d already met them before), I laid out the plan and expectations for counseling. Here’s what they and all couples must agree to:

  1. They must complete an online pre-marriage assessment that forms the basis for pre-marital counseling which will take place over the course of eight 60-90-minute sessions.
  2. They need to purchase a book and two workbooks prior to the beginning of the counseling.
  3. They must commit to completing any assigned homework prior to each counseling session. Failure to be prepared for two counseling sessions will result in me refusing to do the wedding, no matter how little time is left before the date.
  4. They must commit to fully participating in each counseling session. Failure to do so will result in me refusing to do the wedding.

I go on to tell them two additional things (1) I don’t want to stereotype, but homework and participation are most often issues with men and (2) I realize that the guidelines sound harsh, but they are borne out of years of experience working with couples.

Sometime later, I ran into the groom’s mother. She told me her son had expected me to lecture them on the evil and sin of living together before marriage and was surprised when I didn’t. I didn’t feel like I needed to because I knew something he and his fiancée didn’t know—the material we use for counseling would address the issue.

In the middle of chapter two, there is a section titled, “What About Living Together?” For counseling, a couple first reads a chapter in the book then completes exercises in the workbook and discussion questions from the end of the chapter. During our meeting, we discuss the content of the chapter, review the lessons and go over the discussion questions. Here’s some of what we covered in that session. 

  • Couples who live together before marriage report lower satisfaction with their marriage.
  • Couples who live together before marriage (and especially before engagement) are more likely to divorce.
  • This called the "cohabitation effect" and is viewed more as sliding into marriage than deciding to be married.
  • Part of the problem is that many women see living together as a step toward marriage while many men see it as a way to postpone marriage.

 By now, you are probably wondering what this has to do with a sermon. I’m glad you’re curious, let me explain.

          Today, we come to the next part of the “Be the Church” series and we’re talking about the idea of belonging.

          We are convinced that life works best when people live in right relationship with God and each other. We believe a right relationship is described in the five purposes for both life and the church:

  1. Worshiping
  2. Growing
  3. Belonging
  4. Sharing
  5. Serving

Today, we are talking about the third purpose, belonging.

          We believe that when people come into God’s family, they need to belong to a local church instead of living life alone. Because of that, we seek to provide an environment of love, acceptance, forgiveness, and unity so that each person is encouraged and supported through deeply personal relationships with other Christ followers.

          Rick Warren writes that “God wants his family to be known for its love more than anything else. Jesus said our love for each other—not our doctrinal beliefs—is our greatest witness to the world.” He goes on to write that, “love cannot be learned in isolation. You have to be around people—irritating, imperfect, frustrating people.”

          Imagine that! We must be around people to learn to love people!

          Now, let me ask you 2 questions. I would like you to answer.

  • Since the beginning of September 2017, how many different people do you suppose have attended a Sunday morning service at Trinity? (Allow responses.)
  • On average, how many people do you suppose attend a Sunday morning service each week? (Allow responses.)
  • Since the beginning of September 2017, at least 690 different people have attended a Sunday morning service at Trinity.
  • On average, we have 220 attend a Sunday morning service each week.
  • Interestingly, we have 375 people who attend a Sunday morning service at least once a month.

I have been consumed with those numbers for the past 3 weeks. Not because I’m an egotistical pastor whose worth and value is determined by the number of people in a service. No, I’ve been consumed with those numbers because I worry how we can adequately minister to people and build God’s kingdom when gathering with his family isn’t always a priority in our lives.

There are some avenues of growth that only happen in community—with one another—and I worry that we are missing those avenues as we prioritize and pursue other things.

Now listen,

  • I am not trying to lay out a legalistic standard that classifies people as good or bad Christians based on the frequency of church attendance. I’ve lived through that and think its hogwash.
  • Neither am I speaking badly of those who cannot attend weekly because of work or health issues.
  • Nor am I saying we must cancel vacations to attend church.
  • But on the flipside, I am worried about where things will end up if we don’t take the time to think about what we’re doing and to think about the place of priority God has in our lives.

This will sound harsh and I don’t usually speak like this, but I wonder and worry if we’re less content being the bride of Christ than we are being his significant other or live in lover.

At Trinity, our model of ministry is built on a 4 or 5 step process:

  1. Meeting the family
  2. Getting to know the family
  3. Committing to the family
  4. Serving the family
  5. Leading in the family

On the surface, it feels like we have a breakdown between steps 2 and 3. If we don’t have a breakdown, then we may have a misunderstanding of what it means to be committed to the family.

I know regular church attendance doe not guarantee spiritual growth and maturity. Many of us have known folks who wouldn’t think of missing church and yet it’s obvious that they haven’t grown or matured in years. And yet there’s something important about prioritizing time in God’s house and with God’s family. The writer of Hebrews penned these words of admonishment,
Some people have gotten out of the habit of meeting for worship, but we must not do that. We should keep on encouraging each other, especially since you know that the day of the Lord’s coming is getting closer” (Hebrews 10:25, CEV).

Did you catch that? When you and I attend church, it’s not just about “what’s in it for me?”. That’s part of it, but there’s more. It’s also what I bring to the table—what word of encouragement, what hug, what listening ear. When we attend church, we’re not just supposed to be a cup, we’re supposed to be a conduit. (Demonstrate.)

As Christians, we are not just called to believe, we are also called to belong—to be active members of God’s family. Think about this, when Jesus extended the invitation, “Follow me,” it an invitation to faith and family. Those who accepted the invitation followed him from within a group. As a group, they followed, they learned, they served, and they grew and matured. Can we do any less?

          There is great alarm today at the high rate of church-going young people who graduate high school and walk away from the church. I realize that every person’s journey is different, but I wonder how we can lament a lack of church attendance when we fail to prioritize it ourselves.

          I love Paul’s words to the Romans as recorded in Romans 12:4-5. I’m reading from The Message,  “we are like the various parts of a human body. Each part gets its meaning from the body as a whole, not the other way around. The body we’re talking about is Christ’s body of chosen people. Each of us finds our meaning and function as a part of his body. But as a chopped-off finger or cut-off toe we wouldn’t amount to much, would we?”

          Again, we are called to believe and belong. Most of us are going to belong to something somewhere. We’ll most likely belong to a number of different groups. There’s nothing wrong with that…if we aren’t prioritizing those other things over God’s house and God’s family.

          I understand the protest right now: I don’t do that! I’d never do that! That is a natural reaction. I’m not trying to start an argument. I’m trying to start a thought process…a conversation. Do we prioritize other things over God’s house and family? Listen, our children and grandchildren learn as much or more from what they see than from what they hear!

          This is not about attending church more often so that we can climb the ladder a little higher into God’s good graces. That’s not grace at all; that’s salvation by works and it’s heresy! It’s about prioritizing our faith and our faith family.

          The most common description of God’s family in the NT is found in the phrases “one another” and “each other.” We find both positive and negative phrases. We are told to…

  • Love one another (14x)
  • Be devoted to one another
  • Honor one another
  • Live in harmony with one another
  • Accept one another
  • Greet one another (2x)
  • Agree with one another
  • Serve one another
  • Bear with one another (2x)
  • Be kind and compassionate to one another
  • Submit to one another
  • Forgive one another (2x)
  • Admonish one another
  • Encourage one another (4x)
  • Spur one another on
  • Offer hospitality to one another
  • Show humility to one another
  • Fellowship with one another
  • Be at peace with each other (2x)
  • Carry each other’s burdens
  • Build each other up
  • Do what is good for each other
  • Pray for each other
  • Don’t slander one another
  • Don’t grumble against one another
  • Don’t lie to each other

          Remember Jesus’ words,  “Your love for one another will prove to the world that you are my disciples,” (John 13:35, NLT).

          So, how are we doing with each other? We can’t really practice all those “one another” and “each other” admonishments if we don’t spend time with together. Yes, we can and should spend time together outside the walls of the church building. But that is an outgrowth of what starts inside the walls.

          There is no biblical allowance to serve God apart from being an active part of his family. There is no biblical allowance to serve God apart from gathering with his family. To think and practice otherwise is to elevate our opinion, practice, and preference, above God’s word…and that’s dangerous ground to stand on—individually and corporately.

          How are you doing at belong to God’s family? I want to challenge you to take some time this week and think about that.

  • Are you meeting the family?
  • Are you getting to know the family?
  • Are you committed to the family?
  • Are you serving the family?

          Please understand that I haven’t approached this message with any specific people in mind. I’ve looked at the big picture numbers and have been concerned—especially for our children. It’s one thing for an adult to miss a week or two and jump right back into things, but that’s much harder for kids.

          Again, take some time this week to think about how you’re doing at belonging to the family. Talk about with a trusted friend. Share your ideas with me or another staff member. Above all, let’s make sure we are prioritizing the right things in our lives.

Prayer

Series Information

In a very real sense, we do not come to church, we are the church. We are to be the hands and feet and love of Jesus to people who often don't even understand that they need him.